Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up: I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
copypasta
copypasta
Despre lene.
- brutalistu
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Re: copypasta
I'm so sorryI remember I was just sitting at the park reading a book, and he just walks over and sits down at the other end of the bench.
At first, I didn't think he was particularly cute. He was average looking and slightly overweight. But then, out of nowhere, he just looked over and said "Hey I'm Brian, what's your name?"
I was taken aback at first, but I recovered quickly and told him my name. He just smiled and said "Nice to meet you."
Then I turned back to my book, but I wasn't really reading. He had really piqued my curiosity. The situation felt kind of awkward to me, but he didn't look at all phased by it. That made him attractive. It wasn't his looks, so much as his confidence that made him appealing.
We sat there in silence for quite some time. I spent that time thinking about him, and what had just happened.
Strangely enough, in that time span, I started hoping he would talk to me again.
It was then (after maybe 2-3 minutes), that he turned back to me and started leaning in. I remember my hands starting to shake, but I didn't look up from my book. He was right at my ear, and at that point, I was honestly hoping he'd ask me out.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he whispered;
"ey bb u wan sum fuk?"
Re: copypasta
clasic
So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen teh phone rigns. U anser it n teh vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
- brutalistu
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- ola small dickie
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Re: copypasta
"I don't care if you are 17 years of age! You are not going out with all that make-up on your face and wearing a miniskirt! Do you hear me, Malcolm?"
- brutalistu
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Re: copypasta
Am râs.
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Re: copypasta
a intrat o negresa pe mine pe facebook. s-ar putea sa fie sansa mea in sfarsit, arata bine tipa
Thelma Angulo: hi
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Thelma Angulo :please contact me on my email. thelmamaxwell11 @ hotmail. com
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a inceput promitator zic eu
Thelma Angulo: hi
eu : hi
Thelma Angulo :please contact me on my email. thelmamaxwell11 @ hotmail. com
eu: why?
a inceput promitator zic eu
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